#14

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I think small things do matter. Small things build up to become big things. I try to remember one irregular verb everyday, and it has become a good habit. E was complimenting me about my work on studying languages. I am tired so I want to go to sleep, but I still want to do the 800 words.

There was an earthquake in Tainan, Taiwan. I was surprised when I saw a building fell to one side. It was not built well, and it costed lives. I don’t know what the people who built it at the time were thinking, but they must feel very guilty now when they see the damage they caused. I do feel sorry for people in Taiwan who suffered the earthquake, and it also makes me think that people would know the true condition about something when an unexpected event, such as a natural disaster, takes place.

Although I know I want to buy more socks because the socks seemed so good, I feel it was too much trouble to drive to a store just to buy socks. I changed my mind because I know it was not urgent, and my decision was proven right when I didn’t have any problems at all when I didn’t buy the socks.

I got an invitation postcard from a language school, and I am interested in the explanatory event. I could still try to teach English to kids at the school, even though I turned down the offer last time. I didn’t think it was good for me because the pay was low, and I always have thought that I have trouble communicating with kids. I am moving to another country in one year, and they won’t want me to work for them if I will be moving away anyway.

I don’t know why P was yelling at me when I took a turn driving. I was driving okay. He did not want me to drive or he was just trying to make me feel inferior to him in driving. It felt like some kind of power struggle. It was so lame. He reminded me of the teacher T’s story about her husband. Her husband didn’t even allow her to learn how to drive. Some men are so selfish because they don’t want the women to be in control: they want to be the ones who are in control. And that in turn just proves what cowards they are.

Change in action produces conflicts, and such experience produces understanding. Conflicts exist between us. I repress my own feeling if I put him and peace before myself. Then someday I will explode when I just can’t stand it anymore. The only solution to the problem is to let him know before I explode that I don’t like it when he tells me what to do. There is no the other way but to be honest about my own feeling and to speak up for myself.

I want to work on the rewrite for my story “Decoding”, but I don’t know when I will be able to do it. S is coming, and my parents, too. I am anxious. We went to buy the mattress and blankets for S. P cleaned the room. We are almost done with our preparation for their coming. We threw out 3 bags of trash this evening. I think I have become more organized and focused by writing everyday. It seems like my mind has more clarity, and I know what I need, so I can throw out what I don’t need when the time has come.

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