I am not sure if my writing is good enough to receive a good grade from my English teacher. I am not sure if I should post my edited writings to my blog. I am not sure if the writings are too private or if they are that interesting at all.

The teacher who edited my writing suggests that I “look quietly into what’s troubling E”. Since I wrote about what I want to be is an open dialogue writer, I thought that what I did contradicted what I said. The contradiction was that I want to have an open dialogue conversation in writing when I am not practicing the approach in reality by talking with whom I need to talk to or listen to. It’s pretty stupid.

I think E is improving because he seems to care about the promises we made. I just need to remind him when he occasionally takes things too far. I realize that I cannot control another person’s thinking, and I can only try to control my own. If a person is controlled by another person as to how to think, the person is not really free. He won’t be himself anymore, but a puppet, or some kind of a robot, or something terrible.

The book “Rewrite” really gets me to think about characters and people in real life. A person is interesting for her quirks. What is a quirk? It’s something interesting. If a person is worth being a character in a story, there is something interesting about her. Anything is okay, but “something”. The book also explains that conflicts are important. Conflict is what makes a story. No conflict, no story. No story, a piece of writing is just events.  

Maybe P hates me, but he tries not to show it. When he forgets to try, he shows how much he hates me. For example, when I make a mistake, he attacks me and becomes very mean. I feel people repress their true feelings most of the time. I’d like to know what and how a person really is like: what they are afraid of and what motivates them.

My journals are the only writings I have with correct grammar, and I only want to post writings with correct grammar. I don’t know if my writing is any good, but I know writing is important for me and I want to get better at it. Someday I want S to write a foreward for my book, because I think that would mean something. I made a beat sheet for my story today.