Day 3

As I was about to leave the house, I looked at myself in the mirror at the entrance, and I thought, “I’d rather be reading Kant!” The thought was so loud and clear in my head. Instead of going to place A, then place B, and returning home, I’d rather stay home and read Kant.

The boss of the company “Alibaba” said a person who is successful is always positive about the future. A successful person checks the mistakes others make, tries to avoid them, and always thinks about what he did wrong. In other words, a successful person is always in a self-critique process: “The person who is successful is the one who changes himself successfully.”

I get such a kick out of blogging and I learn so much from writing. If my writing is improved, it’s a small achievement for me. Although I write to please myself, I am encouraged when someone likes my work. Every interest I have can go (except maybe reading and piano), but writing is here to stay, because writing feels like breathing to me. The rest is just what I do while I am alive.


Day 23

The planner I bought was good because I could actually prepare the money I need to give back to people I owed to!

My style is to write down all the to-dos for a day as soon as I know I need to do them, and do them when I feel like it. I cannot write what time to do what is on the schedule, because if I write “writing at 9am”, it almost always turns out I don’t write at 9am, and then I feel frustrated for the rest of my day. I need flexibility.

R keeps telling me his coffee is more important than philosophy.

I wonder what Kant’s theory has to do with energy. I want to understand something in terms of energy because without energy there is no life. I also want to be able to express Kant’s logic in simple language, to present it to others like we do in the seminars because teaching is the ultimate learning process.

To wear something nice = to share a little love.


Day 22

I will try my best to become a screenplay writer! That’s what I thought to myself when I looked at my new Moleskin planner.

T had a substantial planner when he came to our Chinese lesson, and I felt like getting a larger dashboard planner, which I didn’t actually get. I have so many things that I am actively interested in, and I want to keep myself organized so I can actually achieve something.

Recently I have been thinking about how my behaviour influences other people. When I wore a Hydrean dress to the lunch with the writing group, everyone was happy. I thought it was so easy to make someone happy — just by one dress. I didn’t think I cared what other people think about me, but when I know that wearing a dress can make people so cheerful, I feet like wearing dresses when I see people. I feel happy when I make someone else happy.

Kant is hard to read, but if I think about what he was trying to do, I am thankful for his efforts. Maybe some people don’t think reality exists, so it must be hard to make an argument to prove that reality does exist.

S said that, there is no standard to decide what is right or wrong, but surely there is? There is a standard because human beings arguably have the intuition of knowing right from wrong, instead of reaching the conclusion that there is nothing we can rely on.

The existence of reality is not up to human beings to decide, but the measurement already exists in our subjectivity, objectively. Reality exists because the relationship between it and human beings is necessary, as the relationship is made by (pure) intuition, whereas imagination is only intuition without proof from a system of human understanding, which is what science is.


Day 21

The idea that Nicholas talked about seems to be true: everything is energy. Some philosophers express their understanding of energy in philosophical language.

Logic is not reality, but our understanding of reality, whereas energy is a phenomenon. In terms of energy, what would a philosophy proposition look like?

For example, Hobbes talked about having a central power is necessary to keep a group in order. It’s the same idea of spinning a plate with a stick in physics.

Romantic attractions are real, but they are only attractions. Romantic feelings make people feel empowered, that’s why people fall in love and try to stay in love.

Writing keeps me centered, and I find answers to my questions from writing. Writing is my way to gain access to my unconscious, my source of energy.

Now I have started to read Kant, I wonder why Kant wrote the way he did. Why would someone write in a way that a reader has to struggle to understand an important message?


Day 13

When I was lying in bed, I remembered how I was reading books while I had to stay in the hospital. I had a liver problem, and I had to get a surgery to test how bad it was at that time. I was away from home and alone by myself in the hospital for three days. I just read books in a white room and it was like heaven. Recently I don’t have time to read, so I miss my reading time.

My idea of writing a book started from the book “The Art and Craft of Storytelling”. The author of the book had to take care of her three kids, but she was writing everyday, and her story inspired me to write everyday.

Every time I see Kant’s book, I want to read it, but then I remember something is more urgent than reading Kant, so I go on to do that thing, and by the end of the day, I have neither time nor energy left for the book. I know I can find time to do it if it’s important to me, even if it’s just reading one sentence. But why do I think Kant is important to me anyway? Is it only my curiosity to know how he has said what he had to say? Or maybe I should just follow my intuition and see where it leads me.