week 35/day 9

I am at a cafe and just ate half of a blueberry scone and after this, I will force myself to read for my class at the school library. Creative non-fiction might be my genre because I am honest and I am interested in big ideas and I write about my experiences all the time. I like to read the scientific books, which means I am interested in facts. I still need to read more and learn how to write because my writing doesn’t have the research part and it lacks the language skills that good writing needs.

I have started to take English 273N, a creative non-fiction writing class at a community college. I wish to write something I like and complete my stories, so I can move on to something new. Maybe I will take a philosophy class next year? Or a film writing class? Or I will keep writing creative non-fiction.

But another part of me is trying to escape, like how I tried to escape from studying philosophy in school in the past. I was interested in philosophy, but I couldn’t commit myself to my courses. When I had to work on reading or assignments, I just wanted to go shopping and do something else instead. I was being irresponsible.

Maybe I am trying to escape from the possible failure and embarrassment. I wonder if my work will be good enough and people will like it at all. Nevertheless, I will write for myself first. Even if it’s not good, I will enjoy myself and know that I’ve done my best.

I really miss writing journals and having them edited and posting them to the blog. It’s not for anyone else but me, and the simple activity makes me happy. I enjoy writing for myself when I don’t feel the pressure to try to be accepted.

week 18/day 10

I am getting used to my new lifestyle here. I get up between 5:30 to 6:00, make lunch and breakfast for the kids, drive them to school from 7:40, return home, do the washing-up and housekeeping, then plan for the day and write from 9:00. I am so hungry right now and I feel my stomach is going to roar.

Last night I began to read the used book I bought this Saturday. It’s called “Writing True: The Art and Craft of Creative Nonfiction” by Perl and Schwartz. I am so glad that I’ve found the book because I think creative non-fiction is the genre that I have been writing under. I am not writing in an academic way, or fictional; I felt out of place in writing children’s stories. Although my writing is about my experiences of everyday lives, it’s not like a report: the object being described is non-fictional (the world), but I describe it in a creative way (my world).

The reading on creative non-fiction reminded me of Nietzsche because his argument emphasized on the importance of subjectivity. Nietzsche seemed to say that a person’s subjective world view is the only thing that’s valid. I’ll keep reading and working on my writing, with a sense of direction at last.  Time for breakfast!