Day 25

Today I went to buy a cup of coffee at the supermarket near our place. In front of me, a woman in her 70s was ordering and she asked her friend (another old lady) who was close to us to pay for the her own lunch at the register. The friend was going to pay after the woman, but then she saw me, who was slightly hidden from her view behind the pole, so she told me she didn’t see me because of the pole, and would pay at another cashier. I told her it’s okay and she could pay before me, but she didn’t and she went to another register. I can’t imagine the same thing happening in Osaka: Japanese people are nice, but I have experiences of old people cutting in line.

I was impressed by the old lady’s action, but then a waitress who let us wait at the busy restaurant tonight also apologized to us many times. So I started to realize that I was wearing a shirt with a strong print of big yellow bananas in a black background. Even though the shirt might have made people feel frightened of me so they didn’t want to take advantage of me, I’d like to think otherwise.



It’s not healthy to stay home for too long because I need to breathe flesh air. I watched movies all day, and didn’t go grocery shopping. I didn’t share the snowing I videoed either because I figured 90 seconds of snowing is too long to watch.

I was rather discouraged by watching “Finding Forrester”. I thought I could never write well after seeing someone else being so talented. B’s writer friend’s advice to me was: It’s pretty tough to be a writer. Yeah, I bet. The only encouragement I got was from an ESL teacher who told me that I could make it because my perspective was kind of different. She wished me luck.

Steven King says, if a person is not serious about her writing, she should do something else. Writing is self-discipline.

I like to write simply because I need to know what I think. My life is passing before my eyes. I want to keep a record of it before it’s gone. I write to know more about myself.

Another thing he said is, when writing is joy, one can keep doing it. Maybe writing is another way to say this life has meaning for me and I feel fortunate to be here.


J in her pajamas starts to type on her iphone.


有時仔細想想 發現很多人事物是矛盾的
比如某某人說 他希望他能幫我 讓我更有自信
可是我和他相處後 發現自己更沒自信
也有某某人會說 我什麼都盡力配合妳 但到頭來發現 很多時候都是我在配合他
想把孩子顧好 但找到的工作機會下班時間都不是很早或不確定..

也許都只是一種 interpretation



然後.. 就只剩下一個簡單的問題
那就是你是否能夠問心無愧 是否能對自己負責


J puts her iphone to the charger. She takes some books and places them on the table, and takes a photo of them.



1. 報名到電腦課
2. 有好久不見的朋友問候我
3. 有老朋友和我分享 Gosling 的近況
4. 吃飽了
5. 天氣很涼爽
6. 部落格很順利
7. 知道原來自己真的很懶
8. 我願意一切盡力而為 然後順其自然
9. 早上有人糾正我的日文
10. 晚上有人關心我的健康
11. 心存感謝
12. 有老朋友和我分享 Gosling 的近況