week 18



Ah, the smell of tea eggs. There are all kinds of products in the store: from vitamin supplements to light snacks to a wide variety of drinks (mostly sweetened). Realizing that I am scanning the isles for too long, I grab a package of my favorite chocolate cookies with almond chips and go to the cashier.

Morning sun shines through the glass window; so annoying, yet hopeful. Hiding behind a wall at a table in the corner, I start to contemplate an argument I just had.

When a person makes all the choices with his ego, so much so that he can’t admit his own faults, I can’t help it but end up wanting nothing to do with him.

As the glass sliding door opens and closes along with the store chime, people dressed for work rush into the store and leave with coffees. Open, and close. Open, and close. Open, and close. Infinitely.

I will grow old, just like everybody else. Somewhere along the way, we might regret the mistakes we’ve made as we all have our own blind-spots. In the end, it’s always the choices you make that build your own world, or your own wall.

Or should I feel sorry for him?

week 19


Reading the book “How to Be an Existentialist”, I started to reflect that what has happened in my life is kind of existentialish. Or at least I’d like to think it that way.

Just about everyone has a problem or problems of their own making. Hopefully, once we see the problem, we will have the determination to change ourselves. Like the saying: “You can lead to a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”, you can lead a person to see a problem, but he is the only person who can take the responsibility for living his life.

Time is a tricky thing. Every second you can change your thinking and perspective to something else. Every second you can change your life for the better or worse, with a snap change of attitude. It’s really up to you, but every second becomes your responsibility. Time is very heavy, yet it’s invisible.

Every second is a choice.

When I asked myself what I wanted to do if I could do anything I wanted today, I wanted to write.

week 19


Early birds sitting around me, chatting.

Dressed in black and white, I arrived two hours before my shift by mistake and I ended up coming to the bookstore. Now I only have one more hour left.

“If only I had my iPad or a book!” I complained to my LINE group of friends. But then I realized that I could type on my phone like what I’m doing now. I remember the first time when I typed on my phone on my bed in the darkness on a cold winter night, I thought “Wow~~” I felt it was so awesome that I could write whenever and wherever I want to.

I don’t remember what else I did in the last hour: I emailed E’s teacher to make an appointment. I checked the LINE conversations. I drank my latte. I checked Messenger. No reply from him yet.

But as soon as I realized I started browsing the net and wasting energy on random events, I thought I should find something to write with.

Yes, I can still type like this with my phone when nothing else is available!