week 13

I feel content with the life I have now.

In two weeks’s time, the kids and I will have been living in Hawaii for one year.

Surprisingly, I don’t feel lonely without my husband being physically present. Maybe it’s because we had a long-distance relationship before we got married.

I’ve been busy in Hawaii, but in a different sense to my busy life in Japan. My kids are here, which means I still have to cook and do the housekeeping regularly. The difference in my life style is that I found a part time job and am going back to school.

In Japan, I could have worked at a supermarket or as an English teacher teaching kids in my neighborhood. Now I am working in a store run by a Japanese company. I think I will never get a chance to work for such company in Japan, simply because my Japanese is not fluent enough.

I know it would make a person look lazy if someone who had lived in a foreign country for a long time still couldn’t speak the language fluently. I also know how it would make the person feel— incompetent. It’s my fault that I am not fluent in Japanese, but I have tried to enjoy my life the best way I could by taking many classes: table coordination, German, piano, writing children’s stories in Japanese, and an adult English conversation class. I also volunteered at the school library.

Fortunately, I was able to go back to school in Hawaii. I’ve always wanted to study, but I would never have had the chance to go to a college in Japan; it’s just unheard of for a mother to do so. Going back to school is a lot of pressure but I feel it’s worth it. Self-advancement is my goal, but I don’t really want to push myself too hard and lose balance.

I actually feel liberated with my simple life. I have no regrets, except one day, I hope they will understand that I felt there was something wrong with my life in Japan.

Before our relocation, I imagined the three of us watching the sunset on the beach. Now my imagination has become reality and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.