Day 5

Are INTPs sensitive to colors? C didn’t have many things on display and her place was very comfortable and relaxing. The hotels we stayed in Singapore didn’t have many colors either; there was only an abstract painting with warm shades on the wall in the bathroom.

As soon as I realized how colors affect me in a big way, I tried to keep strong colors out of my sight, and it worked! I could organize the rooms by paying attention to colors. The less strong colors I see, the less noise I have in my mind. It’s amazing how colors affect me subconsciously.


Day 4
Happy Birthday, E!

Is understanding enough? If we don’t take action, nothing will change. If nothing will change, we will all stay in the same place where we started. Is that what I want?

I was not happy doing the lighting backstage. I would like to express myself as an individual. Somehow screenplay writing happens to make sense to me, therefore someday I hope to write screenplays to amuse myself.


Day 3

At one point, when I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror at a hotel in Singapore, I thought, “Forget about Hobbes! Maybe he did believe in God.” All I was saying was that Hobbes had been inconsistent, and if the argument is inconsistent, I don’t see how can it be true. However, if that is what some philosophers have been doing about the God problem all this time, it was just a tragic behavioural pattern. But before I knew about their situation, how can I accept the man’s inconsistency? Because he wrote half of his book about God? No way. Bottom line: Reality doesn’t need to be consistent, but a theory does.


“I want to go back to school and get my degree in philosophy.” The thought was on my mind when I was blow-drying my hair.

I really don’t know what to do with my life. I want to do so many things, but I am so lazy and I end up achieving nothing. However, an advantage of being an INTP is that I never want to stop learning and perceiving.


When the protagonist in “American Psycho” reached out, no one was there to listen.

If like R said, work and person are separated, and a story is just a story, why did they feel sorry for me? The fact is, when I showed them my work, I didn’t ask them for anything other than their objective comments. But I guess that was too much to ask.


I watched “American Psycho” and “The Majestic” in the morning. “American Psycho” was dark and pessimistic, while “The Majestic” was bright and hopeful. “American Psycho” reminded me of Nietzsche, and the film “My Dinner with Andre”.

“Rather than accidents, maybe there are things we don’t understand.” R’s attitude is definitely different from before because he used to say that we met each other only by coincidence.

R’s smile when he took our pictures reminded me of O. I have to get out of the whole thing before it’s too late.

The laws of nature, or what we can understand with science, are more reliable than a person’s authority. We obey the laws of nature because they are unchanging. Human self-interest creates problems. How can human beings live peacefully with each other? Is it even possible?


Hobbes and Rousseau both used the concept of human nature to develop their theory. Hobbes says man is naturally competitive, and Rousseau says man becomes competitive after a society is formed.

Even though their theories differ in the nature of humans, their theories both seem to say that people need to be controlled, when they are different in their methods.

If human nature is what Hobbes says it is, does that necessarily mean we cannot achieve peace without a commonwealth? Some people value one’s own survival, while some people value the survival of a group more. However, the purpose of a society is not only for an individual to survive, but to survive as an individual.


The movie “The Departed” is so related to Hobbes! I couldn’t guess what happens next in the movie, and the ending is surprising. The movie has a lot of bad language, but it was fun to watch. The movie is about human nature and power.

I don’t want to be involved with people who are too emotional. Emotional exchange drains me, and I can’t help it but to be selfish with my time and energy.


How does a powerful person become a powerful person if not by force? By his wisdom? If human beings are not political animals, how can we be willing to transfer our rights to a powerful person? If we are able to make the choice, we are capable of politics.

The process of getting one’s logic right is all that matters. I can see the connection between event A and event B. I see how the movie “Revenant” would play a part in Hobbes’s position on God in his theory. Hobbes might not believe in God, but he needed the idea of God to be in his theory to make it complete because he understood human weakness too well, although it’s only my opinion.

This morning M said that I should prepare the bread for breakfast in advance. He was right.

I had planned to write this journal for a story about someone who tries to become a writer. I have not written anything story-like, but the more I write, the more I learn about myself.

Perhaps I can write something from the perspective of an INTP? I am interested in myself as an INTP. If I present myself the way I am, will I be like an INTP? The question is, what makes me an INTP?