The comment Copleston made in the chapter “Retrospect and prospect” in “A History of Philosophy” is pretty depressing. The author ended up saying that philosophy is dialectic, and philosophers just keep repeating themselves. His comment made me want to scream because it might be true.
It was a good life when I was in Hawaii: I didn’t write, I didn’t read, all I did was grocery shopping, cooking, and spending time with the kids playing tennis. I thought I was functioning normally without writing, until catching a cold made me “imagine” I’d be sick if I did’t write.
Maybe writing has become a habit for me because later I felt upset when I didn’t keep my journal. If I could admit to myself that I wanted to get better at writing, then I would have to face the fact that I needed to discipline myself to get better.
As for the piano recital, I tried to be at the place that relates to the music when I played: I saw the park, and it worked. With practice and learning the trick of image training, I have conquered my fear in playing in front of an audience.