#24

E wouldn’t go to the piano lesson first and kept the teacher waiting. I got so mad. M went to the lesson after he returned home later than the time he promised.

I left after our argument but I know I couldn’t go far because M was home. I didn’t know where I was going as I was driving with tears in my eyes. I bought some food, and then I returned home.

Later, we checked the notes we made for who should go to the lesson first, and we found out that E was right: M was supposed to go to the lesson first today. E didn’t go to the lesson instead of M to avoid the wait, and the teacher waited for 30 minutes instead. We need to write down some rules to avoid this from happening again, but E was being so stubborn.

I don’t want to force anyone to do anything, but I guess I do force people to do what I think is the best for them. I forced E to go to the lesson because I think it was only fair since M went to the lesson for him when he was late to come home. I forced S to buy food because I figured she wouldn’t have time to buy food later since she had to feed her baby. I forced M to take the lesson on Saturday because I don’t think he will have enough practice at home.

Even when I forced them, they didn’t do what I said. I can try to explain to them the cause and effect of their actions and force them to do something, but it won’t help them in the long run because they will have to learn from their own experiences.

For them, I was wrong because they couldn’t do what they pleased, or what they think was fair. So the teacher waited; I did the washing-up again (as I said I would) after S did the washing-up.

I shouldn’t waste my tears and time and energy on things like this; I have more important things to do. I just have to understand and accept the fact that sometimes, making efforts to do something for some people has its limitations. Everyone has their own reasons, and a person is responsibility for the action she chooses. To quote Newton, for every action, there is a reaction. If a person’s choices make her who she is, she needs to learn how to make choices she can be responsible for, at the right time.

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